There’s a reason TV chat show hosts always warn against having to a baby to save a relationship, it’s because this amazing event can put an incredible strain on your partnership. Although not often talked about the majority of couples find that they face friction, resentment and arguments once a new baby enters the home.
Of course there is that bond that can’t be broken as the three of you become a family unit, yet the practical side of parenthood does leave us with a little conflict.
Here are the most common problems:
You will probably be used to spending time together doing nothing, now every second must be accounted for as one little person needs you 24/7. If with paternity and maternity leave it is impossible to truly relax until the baby is in a good night-time routine.
After everything your body has been through intimacy may be the last thing on your mind and it is recommended you wait 6 weeks too. This can put a strain on some relationships where partners have relied on this to maintain a close relationship.
Without clear ideas of responsibility conflict can arise. He may expect you to complete the housework as you’re not at work whereas you may long for him to come home just so you benefit from an extra pair of hands. Some partners forget just how hard it is looking after a baby without throwing in housework on top, the days of finishing work and putting your feet up til bedtime are gone.
Breast is of course best for the baby but it does come with its drawbacks until you are at the stage where you can express. You can swap nightshifts or enjoy just one entire night’s sleep as your partner doesn’t have the means to take over. This can cause resentment as you see them awake fresh as a daisy every morning but it won’t last forever.
Being prepared is the key towards tackling these problems, it’s best to talk about them when you have time before the birth of your baby. Discuss responsibility, make plans for time together and make a promise that you’ll snuggle a bit in the first six weeks.