Ok... Ok. I admit that the title of this article is a bit misleading. You can’t just mould your husband, or any man, into who you want him to be. You might as well get a robot or a dog. But if you’re reading this, then the title had done its job to lure you to read further. I know it’s sneaky, but a writer has got to do what a writer has to do to get some readers.
Anyway, back to what this article is really meant to be, involving dads in the care of your baby. Once or twice, I’ve seen mothers who were very protective of their babies, that they were very possessive and refused to share the care of their babies with their husband. They worry that the dads would not be able to do it as well as them. They talk endlessly about how inept their husbands are at changing nappies or feeding babies. They seem to think that they had an immaculate conception that their babies are theirs and theirs alone. But fathers do have equal rights and responsibility towards looking after the baby. And a wise mother tries to include the dad in all aspect of childcare from the outset.
There are three main reasons why dads don’t get involve with childcare. One, he simply hasn’t accepted the role of a father and decided to pretend he is single. So, instead of spending his free time to look after the baby, he spends it on going out or playing sports with the boys.
Two, the mum refuses to let him do it. So, for an easier and peaceful life, he lets her get on with it.
Three, and I think is the most common, he doesn’t genuinely know what to do.
The first reason, we can’t really do anything about, but the last two reasons we can definitely overcome through learning the art of delegation.
Being a mum is just like being a CEO of a big corporation. And a good CEO knows how to use the talents around her to have a healthy and powerful organisation. So, make to delegate some childcare tasks to your husband. And once you make that decision, let him get on with it. He may be slow and clumsy at first, but he’ll get there.
Avoid making fun of his efforts, and unless it’s going to put your baby’s life in danger, don’t redo them.